When we have arguments, our healing is set back.
Science has proven this to be so, documented in one place here: http://www.thrivingnow.com/arguments-dramatically-slow-wound-healing/
Today I was reminded of this after a stupid and habitual argument with a family "member". Afterwards I felt old wounds and sickness grimly brooding in my mind and flesh.
My family argues: deep grooves of old BS habitual conflict, high octane jousting and old fault line wound-finding. Not pleasant. It's a sad thing to be an adult and recognize in oneself all the dumb habits one perfected as a teenager while pitting mom against dad to get the car keys, I said "OK, then, I'll just hitchhike." Ahh, the perfect schism!
So friends, we are all wounded. We all love our side of an argument. We all are trained to be rational, brain-centered beings who want to argue our way to success. But really, we are emotional, heart-centered beings who are more swayed by emotion than logic. Fierce argument hurts us, and makes us go out of heart-resonance with our friends and allies.
I honor conflict as truth's snowplow, forcing motion to clear the way. Sometimes a rumble is necessary to rearrange the landscape. Sometimes there should be strong and clear and direct words to say what we need or don't want.
But often fights sit in our stomach and gnaw at our bones long afterwards. So let us resolve to not fight, especially about the dumb things, and to dehabitualize ourselves from tasty masochistic arguing.
Let our family relations sit on a foundation of peace coexistence and calm discussion.
May our healing be swift and unhindered by arguments.
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